Janell the Great: Wedding Edition

All Meatballs are Welcome

2009-11-04T18:00:00.003-06:00

Our original reception menu included a Swedish Meatball. Ikea meatballs are one of my comfort foods - I ate pounds of the things while finishing my thesis. I suggested to Stacey that we cut corners and just serve the Ikea meatballs.

"But Swedish meatballs are so easy!" she protested.

Ok, then. Beef and Pork meatballs with a cranberry sauce it is.

Alas, this week the Swedish Meatballs were put in jeopardy. The beef, pork, onion, carrot, and celery for the meatballs only cost $30. A key ingredient to Stacey's sauce? Ten pounds of veal bones. Those are hard to come by at the moment though every grocer promises they'll have them in stock (haha) in a few weeks. Worse? The bones are, at best, going to cost $30.

Janell the Money Squirrel has great difficulties doubling the cost of a meatball for its sauce alone.

Stacey went to the figurative white board and starting coming up with various solutions. She called her contacts for tips on how to obtain the bones at a cheaper price. She sought out solutions of ready-made broth. She invited entire sauce subsitutions.

Finally, I had a small epiphany. The meatballs don't have to be Swedish per se. They could be Egyptian for all I care. (Do they have meatballs in Egypt?) Meatballs of all nationalities are welcome at my reception.

Thus Stacey has now decided on a spiced cranberry glaze for the meatballs. I was no help in that selection. She suggested everything from a tomato and pineapple bbq glaze to some sort of ginger and citrus sauce. I kind of shrugged and said, "What would you choose?" She indicated her favorite suggestion and I replied, "Ok, that."

So, yay, we shall now be serving non-Swedish meatballs in some sort of different cranberry sauce. Yum yum yum.

A Red Velvet Armadillo

2009-10-21T00:01:00.003-05:00

Should you ask me how wedding plans are going you will receive a shrugged response, "All the major components are in place and everything remaining are things no one will notice is missing." (Everyone except people like me who are liable to critique your execution of square vases versus round.) A few enterprising people will follow up with questions to get a few more details. There is one question I hear often enough to now have a route conversation for.

"What's Wm's groom's cake going to be like?"

"We're not planning on a groom's cake."

"What? Why not!"

"I'm from PA. He's from LA. A groom's cake is a southern tradition." Let me briefly define "groom's cake" those of you not living below the Mason-Dixon line. It's a second cake served at a wedding which represents the groom - often shaped like a favorite brand-named beverage, a video game character, or his car. Frequently the cake is considered the groom's one element of control in the wedding planning which often provides a zany conversation piece. Most women of a certain generation will recall the armadillo cake featured in Steel Magnolias (1989).

"What? Really? I've seen them outside of the south before!"

"Still, we're omitting that detail. We have tons of other things to plan and spend money on."

I do love myself. "Hm, maybe," actually means, "Well, sure, now that reality, wedding tv shows have popularized the notion, that the wedding industry is trying even more to reach into your pocket and yoink out your precious coins in the name of perfection, and even outside of the south there is still a good probability that either the bride or groom is from the south given that the questioner is likely southern himself or herself."

So, yup, No groom's cake at this reception.

Chocolate Decadence

2009-10-20T00:01:00.004-05:00

In general, I don't like cake. It tends to not be very satisfying. It tends to be dry. It tends to not have enough chocolate in it. I'd much prefer a slice of cheesecake, a slice of pie, or a brownie. I wasn't very enthusiastic about having a wedding cake, and was playing the the concept of just serving chocolate éclairs in lieu of cake.

Enter my friend Stacey, also known as "the caterer." Now, this woman is seriously has the potential to revolutionize the way people think about food. She's a visionary who can look at branches of a rosemary bush and think, "Huh, what happens if I use those for a shish kabob skewer?" She will be in charge of all the food at my reception - including the cake. A cake baked by Stacey is guaranteed to be a good cake. I feared I still wouldn't like it - it is cake, after all - but it should be the best representation of cake possible.

My fortunate increases by having a fiancé who appreciates chocolate, so after a brainstorming session it was determined to do multiple flavors of chocolate in a single slice of cake. Two layers of differing chocolate cakes each with a raspberry topping to emphasize the chocolate. A thick, center layer of butter-cream (and let me note that this ain't your buy-it-in-a-bucket frosting). The entire cake will be coated in a thin, dark ganache and topped with a glaze.

Earlier tonight Stacey-Caterer brought over three, small, sample cakes for Wm and I to taste and decide which to include in our wedding cake. Oh deliciousness in heaven. Yesterday was was a slightly bad day, and the chocolate made everything better. Stacey wanted to soak the cakes in a simple syrup (plebeian speak is "sugar water"), so she brought us half of each cake soaked and half unsoaked for comparison.

First, her signature midnight chocolate cake. It's a dense, rich, deep chocolate that's almost too intense on it's own. She makes it out of 75% chocolate bars. Layer some raspberry puree and a chocolate butter cream on top of the dark chocolate? Amazing. The raspberry cuts through the potential bitterness and the cream lightens the taste. Two bites and you're dessert craving is satisfied by the delicious cake.

Second, was a sachertorte which she also calls, "Meet My Chocolate Doorstop." This is a frightfully heavy cake - you pick it up and you do think, "Where is all that weight coming from?" This cake is made of cocoa powder and almond flour (or was it paste?) and is soaked with the simple sugar until the plate under the cake is sitting in a pool of sugar. It's amazing. The soaking? A bit gushy. I much prefer a half soak.

Third, was a chocolate cake which is miles above any box-mix ever made with its texture and delightful flavor, yet after the first two cakes it was, "Oh. Hi, chocolate." This flavor of chocolate was like an old friend, but someone unremarkable in comparison to the other two cakes. If I had started on this one I would have loved it much more, but the midnight cake had redefined all of my notions of what makes a cake cake.

Of course, this is one reason I'm always impressed by Stacey and her culinary skills. Not only can she create the quintessential chocolate cake (her third chocolate cake), but she can create the very apotheosis of cake (her midnight cake).

It was hard to choose which two cakes to choose for the cake layers. Of course, I could say, "All three please!" but I'm not certain all 3 would be even more work for my friend. In the end, the midnight cake was omitted because, quite frankly, Mormons have been trained to expect sheet cake at weddings. (I'm immensely fortunate to have a friend willing to take all the work to bake a decadent cake for me. I couldn't justify the expense if she weren't giving me such a generous deal on her services.)

Here's the logic. Say you pick up a forkful of cake expecting a Costco sheet cake of fluffy, sugary frailness with barely a hint of chocolate. Instead you find yourself with a mouthful of deep, dark, dense, intense, almost fudge-like cake. Your first thought will be, "What is this? Is this cake? What did I just put in my mouth?" Now take a second bite, "Yes, this is cake, but wow, it's different." A third bite, "Chocolate. Yum, but wow." I'm betting that while eating that slice of cake the only thought will be comparing this cake to that sheet cake. Now, three weeks later? You will remember that cake as the most amazing cake you've ever tasted, yet I fear you won't fully appreciate it at the time you actually eat it. You'll be too busy processing, "Wow, this is cake?"

So, yeah, in interest of not hitting guests with a chocolate mallet, we're giving our guests a cake layered with the "chocolate friend" and the "chocolate doorstop." Yum. I'm really excited fro the completed cake. It will be amazing.

Cultural Hall Table Dimensions

2009-09-29T19:00:00.002-05:00

It seems to be the rare exception that an LDS doesn't hold her reception in a gym. These receptions are so commonthat some bright entrepreneur in the Mormon mothership finally began a niche company dedicated to the fine craft of draping fabric on the walls to hide the hideousness that is the cultural hall. So tell me. Why in all the vast space of the internet can Google not find the diameter and height of a standard, cultural hall table?

Search no more, fair brides, your magic numbers are:

Diameter: 60" (That's 30" radius, 188.49" circumference, or a lovely 2827.43" square inches.)

Height: 29"

These are the measurements of a non-disclosed chapel in the Austin city limits. My experience is that those round tables are the same size throughout the U.S.

I'm guessing a standard, round 120" tablecloth will only touch the ground slightly. Your yardage may vary.

Declining a Coordinator

2009-09-21T11:05:00.005-05:00

Finding a wedding coordinator was frustrating for three reasons. First, it was difficult to find who had a package flexible enough to exclude ceremony planning - we only need help with the reception. Second, it was difficult to find a coordinator who didn't have a long list of fluffy items pertaining to arranging the bridesmaids into a row and handing out favors to guests - we don't need these things done. Finally, it was almost impossible to get coordinators to talk to me because my wedding is considered "last minute" and is on a holiday weekend.

I did manage to find two very nice events coordinators at two different companies. Each were willing to work with fewer than 12 weeks to plan, on a holiday weekend, and with a package flexible enough to focus only on a reception. The cost was several hundreds of dollars - a plausible expense. The coordinators were willing to help us select vendors and take care of overseeing the details of the wedding. Essentially, they were willing to take all the planning Wm and I plan to accomplish and oversee it at the last minute.

Now why did we not go this direction? Essentially, the coordinator services were still more fluff and less implementation. The coordinator was willing to set out table cloths, but unwilling to get on a ladder. (I suspect the one we talked to in particular isn't insured for getting on a ladder.) She was willing to oversee the little traditional circumstances of a reception (we're planning on omitting all of them), but not really deal with any fires (figuratively or literally). Essentially, the coordinator would just be the person to call vendors in the event they didn't show up.

So. Yeah. Honestly? Initially when considering a coordinator. we only had a caterer and no other vendors, no other plans, no other vision. By the time we found coordinators to interview? We had more vision and had started identifying trusted service providers and volunteers. Coordinator? Meh. We want a sergeant at arms - someone to oversee, lend a hand, and put out fires.

Why Not a Planner

2009-09-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

I should take a moment to clarify why I'm considering a coordinator rather than hiring a wedding planner. Simple. Planners cost thousands of dollars - plus the base cost of food, decorations, etc. I and my fiancé would much rather deal with the stress of planning than loose cash on that scale. Granted, if Wm weren't into details and didn't take half the load of planning, oh, totally, hand the cash over immediately. Wm's been great about working with details and being proactive in planning. So far we're doing a pretty good job balancing the planning between the two of us, so no planner is necessary.

Considering on a Coordinator

2009-09-16T23:59:00.002-05:00

In LDS circles it's rare for a couple to hire a wedding coordinator. This is one part due to the sacred nature of the wedding ceremony itself, and one part due to an excess of free labor. Yet, I'm going against the trend and considering hiring a day-of coordinator.

A Mormon wedding is centered on the ceremony that takes place in the temple. This ceremony is a brief prayer offered at an alter which "seals" the bride and groom together for time and all eternity. (The biblical basis for the word "seal" or "bind" comes from Matt 16:19 "whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven," though admittedly a more in depth study of the canonized scriptures is necessary to establish the basis for this method of marriage.) There ought to be a great deal of spiritual and personal preparation before the ceremony, but it actually requires nothing in terms of finding an officiator, a decorator, a venue, etc. Essentially, a couple just needs a) approval of their church leaders b) to book an open time slot with a chosen temple and c) the proper attire and d) two witnesses. Et voila, you're now set to be married.

The temple ceremony is considered very sacred as it is performed before God in His house, and the attendees of the ceremony are limited to those LDS members in good standing. The ceremony attendees are also restricted in number to the size of the ordinance room. The San Antonio temple's "large" room has a capacity of 30 person. That sounds like a lot until you start counting up how many aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents, and parents that exist between Wm and I.

A marriage, of course, is a happy-community thing. Thus the reception becomes the many celebration of a marriage. I shall give you an example of scale. A gal in my ward asked, "How many invites are you sending out?" I responded, "300." She exclaimed, "That's it?" Uh, yeah. It's typical for all members of the bride's ward away from home, all member of the groom's ward away from home (if applicable), all members of each set of parents' wards, and even then all the extended sixth cousins a gazillion times removed. Rumor in the church hallways is that the number of reception invitees is usually double mine.

Despite the large number of invitees, the reception still tends to be fairly subdued and modest. Individuals put a lot of emphasis on "the ceremony itself is the important part," and often shy away from doing anything at the reception that may rival the union itself for attention. Wedding coordinators are often synonymous with extravagant events - and that is not the objective of the reception. The objective of the reception ~~is to provide a means for your guests to save on postage~~ is to provide a community celebration.

A moment for clarification. A wedding planner is an events coordinator who will plan the wedding from the ground up - from the source of your chairs all the way to the printing of your ceremony program. A day-of coordinator is an events coordinator who takes all the plans you make and makes certain they happen. You find and order the table linens, the coordinator will make certain they get put out.

Generally, the church congregation is eager to offer service in the standard offer of, "Call me if there's anything I can do for you." A coordinator will put out the linens, sure, but you'll receive an invoice for that service. Truly, why pay someone what you can do for free?

And that brings me to the topic of this post - I'm considering hiring a coordinator. (Wow, that took a lot of background information!) Time is the most valuable commodity my fiance and I posess - we are each trying to maintain a full-time job while wedding planning and still having time for each other and ourselves. (Yes, yes, this is nothing compared to finishing a masters thesis and likely nothing compared to the position of soccer Mom.) In rough numbers, Wm and I only have 36 evenings and 16 Saturdays to plan and implement a wedding. It is worthwhile considering paying someone to handle the coordinating if it means more hours for us.

Now, I do recognize that _everyone_ has a real life outside of wedding planing; be they students or full-time employees. I can't whine "but I have a real job!" when I recall quite clearly being a student often required more hours than a real job.

Often I witness students falling back on their mothers to plan their weddings. Often the mothers are thrilled to plan weddings. My Mom? She's quite content to let us do our thing - and she lives all the way up in PA. Wm's mom? She's quite content to let us do our thing - and she lives all the way over in LA. I am incredibly blessed not to have additional people trying to assert their opinion into our planning. I'm somewhat cursed in not having a local fall-back person. I could pay a coordinator to be that person.

So, yup, I'm going against the trend and looking for individuals to pay to be my fall-back person. I have had 3 nice women in Austin offer, "Call me if there's anything you need," but, honestly? I don't know them quite well enough to trust them to see things through, and I really don't want to abuse them by putting the full weight of, "Oh? Hi! You said to call? Well, I want you to take this box of stuff and make it into a reception. Don't worry, there are diagrams for exactly what I want. And no, you can't call me with questions, 'cause I'll be doing the bride thing that day." So, finding a paid professional is now a consideration. I'll let you know how it goes.

What's the Point of a Bridal Bouquet?

2009-09-08T23:30:00.006-05:00

I have been seeking an answer to a question. What is the point of the bridal bouquet? Ok, I'm certain the origin of the bouquet lies in freshening the air around a bride who believed bathing to be life-threatening. The tradition continued as a means to show off one's wealth by carrying around your lovely selection of hot house flowers - and later really emphasized when you had so much money you could literally throw the flowers at people.

Oh, wait, it's not that I have so much money I can throw around. It's that I'm lucky and so I have to beat back the frothing guests back with my flowers. Riiiiight. A bat or a sword would be more effective. A blunt, defensive object would be useful to a bride who selects really hideous bridesmaids' dresses.

Ok, yes, they're pretty, but pretty for how long and at what cost? Flowers wilt and don't last very long. The bride only carts around the bouquet for so long before it's foisted upon some bridesmaid, stuck in a corner (smarter: stuck in a vase on display), or thrown at a group of single women. The prettiness usually only draws the eye away from the happy couple (except with expert floral design and expert photography). I don't know that pretty is worth the cash. (At least not when a pretty pair of earrings might last for years whereas a pretty bouquet only lasts for days.)

Still the question returns - regardless of archaic traditions and likely pagan beliefs - what is the point of the modern bridal bouquet?

Gathering Mailing Addresses

2009-08-31T23:00:00.005-05:00

standard disclaimers apply

I detest Facebook groups and mass emails that request, "If you want an invitation, send us your address!" It's so incredibly impersonal. It seems to me that if if a person doesn't already have my address or can't put in a little work to obtaining my address than that person is asking for me to volunteer presents more than requesting my presence.

Enter my own wedding planning. I put my size-10 foot down and said, "There will be no mass email and no Facebook group!" Yes, one can communicate via email - be it genuine or computer-generated personalization. Yes, one can communicate via Facebook - but not through groups. There will be no Facebook group. The end.

You know what I've found? It takes a bit of time, yet it's ridiculously easy to find people's addresses. My own address book, student and alumni databases, the ward directory, and even an old-fashioned Google search has yielded most of the addresses I desire. Wm has found great success in harvesting addresses from the very same Facebook groups that I so despise; such groups publish the addresses publicly and often have a link on the person's profile "Jim Bob and Jane Doe's Wedding." When a person has been successful in protecting their address? A quick email or a cell phone call. I only had to directly request addresses from one tenth of my list.

The Engagement Ring

2009-08-27T00:01:00.003-05:00

I can't quite figure out what possessive adjective to use to describe the engagement ring. Is it "my" ring? Is it "Wm's" ring? Is it "our" ring? I think I'll ignore those sticky possessives and refer to it as "the" engagement ring.

Anyway, it was difficult to see the ring in the dark at the temple, so I requested that as soon as we were out of the temple gates that Wm pull over so I could turn on the dome light and admire the ring. Really, my then-boyfriend-now-fiance did a fantastic job selecting a ring! It's gorgeous. I don't know that this is the exact ring that I would have chosen for myself, but I love that he worked so hard to select this one.

At first I was taking pictures of the ring using my keyboard as background. I thought this would be a sufficiently geeky display of my personality. Alas, the super-macro mode made every dust mote seem like a hideous, gray monster. Every one of those pictures were rejected.

I am pleased with the way the flower shots turned out. The flowers in the background are the ones William gave me on the night he proposed to me. I've never used my digital camera in super-macro mode before, and the slightest movement of a flower would create a blurry photo. All in all, I'm rather pleased how well the photos turned out considering my limited photography education and even more limited experience. [for those with reader: pictures of the ring are included in this post]

The Proposal According to Janell

2009-08-26T00:01:00.015-05:00

I must being this story by noting that Wm wanted the proposal to be a surprise. It is also important to note that I'm a smart cookie and I'm not easily surprised. Worse for Wm, I knew for a fact that he had purchased a ring and I knew that based on our target dates to be married that he would need to propose within two weeks of when he had obtained said ring. As it were, I resisted the urge to perfect a cellphone impression by asking, "Ring? Ring? Ring?" every time I saw Wm.

For some time Wm and I have intended on visiting the San Antonio temple. The first word that comes to mind when I think of this building is "opulent." Mormon meeting houses quite to be extremely plain (think a doctor's office meets a schoolhouse), but often no expense is spared when building a temple. Within the temple are thick, tall, dark-wooded pillars. The ceilings are accented with gold leaf, and murals and paintings adorn each wall. Every window of this temple is beautiful, colored stained glass.

Wm insists that the temple is more spectacular at night than it is at day - when the light from within the temple causes the stained glass to glow. Personally, I prefer to make my temple visits in the morning when my mind has yet to be cluttered by my daily stresses, but Wm convinced me that we ought to take a trip on a weekday evening so I could admire the windows.

My then-boyfriend-now-fiancé is a very by-the-books guy. Given the fact that a Mormon by-the-books proposal is at the temple, I would have been more surprised if he hadn't proposed. If he'd wanted a closer approximation to genuine surprise at an electronics store or a random moment would have sufficed, but Wm probably didn't consider those methods acceptable alternates.

In order to get to the temple on time I would have to leave work earlier than usual, change into Sabbath clothing in the bathroom, and go straight to Wm's house from work. (I live half an additional half hour north of the temple.) This day I wore a red blouse (thank you, Veronica) and a high-waisted black skirt (thank you again, Veronica). It was an easy outfit to transition from work to church in. Still, the combination wasn't as sleek as one might hope, and all I could think was, "This is not the outfit I want to wear when receiving a marriage proposal." Still, that's what I get for not planning a better outfit.

We ran down a checklist as we left his house. Temple recommends? Check. Temple clothes? Check. Sabbath dress? Check. As we were pulling out of his driveway he paused, "Oh, wait, did I forget? He fiddled with his bag and concluded, "Nope, never mind."

I was tempted to tease him, "You didn't forget the ring, did you?" I bit back this comment because I feared if I dashed his hopes of a surprise than he would simply wait until another day.

This was my third time attending a temple session, and I was making an effort to focus in on and memorize everything. I kept being a little surprised when I'd look towards the men's side of the room and realize, "Hey! Wm! Oh! Yeah, we came together." After the session, Wm told me to take my time and to meet him in the lobby. By the time we'd exited the temple I'd completely forgotten about the potential proposal.

After we exited the temple we took a stroll around the building to admire the stained glass. The air was very warm and a bit humid - a typical night in central Texas. The temple was indeed beautiful. "Which are the celestial room windows?" Wm inquired. "The three, biggest ones," I replied kind of wondering how he wasn't certain. Wm started rambling. I was trying to discern whether he was talking or proposing. The question was answered when he got on one knee and asked, "Will you marry me?" I do wish I'd let the question hang a bit more. No, not to make him sweat, but just to enjoy a moment that won't ever be repeated.

I'm guessing I provided the correct answer because I was given a pretty ring and a flower. They had been stashed in his temple bag. He explained he'd chosen this carnation because it was both red and white. Red for love. White for purity. Or something like that. (He'd earlier asked my preference on flowers and I told him I'd much rather have a well-thought carnation over a thoughtless red rose any day.)

When we returned to his car the temple workers were trying to figure out what to do. They were leaving for the day, yet here was an extra car in their parking lot. We apologized for holding them up. When Wm opened the car door for me I was surprised by a small bouquet of red and white roses. They were carefully laid on a towel-wrapped ice-pack. What a nice surprise!

While driving to Austin we called each of our parents. My Mom was a bit sleepy and didn't hold much of a conversation. I knew it was too late on the East Coast to call, but my Mom had earlier insisted that I call her regardless of the hour. Wm's parents live on the West Coast, so they were actually awake. This was the first time I'd actually ever talked to either of his parents, and his mom sounded very enthusiastic.

I was again surprised when we reached Wm's house. A vase of gerber daisies, carnations, and roses were perched on top of my car. Yes, I know, gerber daisies, carnations, and roses do not belong in the same vase. Apparently my fiancé had been listening more closely than I thought when I rattled each of these flowers off as ones I thought were good flowers to be given. (Um. Let's ignore that my official favorite flower is lily, but I tend to forget this. I'm not much of a flower girl.) It was very apparent that Wm had tried very hard to do the floral arrangements himself - a gesture that I love more than the flowers themselves.

Half past midnight my final surprise came. There was a large vase of carnations, daisies, and roses in front of my garage door. (The garage door because I enter and exit my apartment from the garage. I only open my front door when I'm expecting a box or when I have a visitor.) It took me three trips to get my purse, my changing bag, my temple bag, and all of my pretty flowers into the apartment. The proposal? Not a surprise, yet Wm still managed to surprise me with the details.

The Secret Files

2009-08-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

In college, many of my roommates would sit around gigging and planning their hypothetical weddings. They'd explain the exact shade of purple perfect for their envisioned April wedding. They'd describe the dress in intricate detail. They'd swap opinions on pillow mints versus Jordan almonds.

Why put so much effort into an event that might not even ever occur? Doesn't that just place too much emphasis on the fluff of wedding celebrations rather than the marriage itself?

Of course, being nice girls they'd invite me to share my own dreams of the 'perfect day.' I, being the sort of girl I am, responded with my funeral plans. "Hm, if I die young, I'll take 6 handsome, young pallbearers wearing electric blue. Otherwise, just toss me in the compost heap."

Um, no, very few my roommates became my friends. Why do you ask?

During my first go-around as a bridesmaid I began to understand. Mormon engagements are often very short - usually 12 to 16 weeks, and this friend was no exception to that statistic. I watched that indecisive bride-to-be try to plan a wedding with only the basic idea that she wanted there to be lots of pink. (Bless her tolerant groom.) Within such short a time frame to plan there is no room for thinking - only for deciding and implementing immediately. The night before your wedding day is not the time to decide, "Oh! I'd like brownies at my reception!"

With that in mind, I started a folder on my C drive titled, "W." Creative code-name, eh? Just whenever I'd see a picture I liked, I tossed it into the folder. Within about a year my organization skills demanded that I subdivide "W" into "D" (dress), "F" (flowers), "BM" (bridesmaids), etc. Eventually all of the folders were moved into OneNote.

Of course, I couldn't admit to having such a file. Not only had I become one of those girls, I actually had pictorial references and branching plans. (Am I in the mood for something more feminine or shall I be kind to the groom and choose something more elegant?)

Now I find myself rather grateful to have my references. Sure, Wm and I tend to toss out more of the ideas than we keep, but it is nice to have such information on hand. It's a nice launch point for discussion. It's also nice to be able to pull up a picture and say, "Here. This is what I'm talking about."

So, yes, there is merit in keeping such a folder even if I really wish I weren't "that girl."

The Standard Disclaimers

2009-08-19T00:01:00.003-05:00

Within this blog I express my strong opinions. I'm taking the East Coast attitude of, "If you don't like it, toughen up." I am merely stating my opinion and you're welcome to your own opinion. My opinion is only meant to be understood as things pertaining to _me_ and not to _you_. For example, I positively detest the Mormon cookie cutter dress. You know the one: temple-white, A-line, boat-necked, and cap-sleeved. It might have a little lace or a few sequins or even a ruffle, but it's the same dress. I assure you, if you wore that wedding dress you looked perfectly lovely and happy on your wedding day. However, I feel if I'm going to be paying a slew of professionals to create and document that wedding dress, than it'd darn well better be the most flattering dress I've ever worn in my life. A-lines don't flatter my figure. Most of my Sunday dresses have cap sleeves. Oh, and I don't like how I look in temple-white. So, when I say, "I detest the cookie cutter dress," I really mean, "I don't find 99% of readily available, modest wedding dresses to suit my criteria for a wedding dress."

Hello World

2009-08-17T02:01:00.001-05:00

Vero suggested that I ought to start a new blog for wedding-related posts. At first I dismissed the idea. There isn't a reason not to post on my usual blog because posts about weddings don't violate my "no dating, no work" posting policy. Once the idea sunk in, I started to realized that the number of posts I may write on the wedding topic may quickly overtake my blog - especially if I want to create labels for "wedding dress" or "vendors." Thus, this new blogsite, "Janell the Bride," was created.

Um, and, yes, it should be noted that at the writing of this post I'm not yet officially engaged. I'm intending to marry my current and hopefully last boyfriend, and I have it on good authority (his and Vero's authority) that a ring has been purchased (teehee).

Stuffy Jared's Jewelers

2009-08-15T00:01:00.018-05:00

I only had twenty minutes to prep Vero on rings. At the last-minute my wonderful friend agreed to go ring shopping with Wm to provide a second opinion on any sparkly he might select. Vero has great taste, but she's much more bold and stylish than I. We needed a ring store and fast, so I could coach her in my preferences. Jared was selected because it was the biggest, most obvious jewelery store we passed on the road.

The store itself is clean, glitzy, and stuffy. Everything feels sterilized - and it really ought to be because the super-bright lighting would make any speck of dust stand out like a BYU student in the UofU section at a football game. Every sales person was dapper and stiff-backed in their pressed suits. I wouldn't be surprised if they're required to buff their name-tags.

Austin (unfortunately, not as fortuitous a name as one might hope) was courteous, not pushy, but a bit stuffy. He waited for me to point at rings to show me. (I liked Renee who just handed me rings as she started to hone in on my style.) He commented he'd seen a lot of times where a mother or sister or someone would come in with the prospective fiancée and change her opinion onto a different ring. "Oh, I have opinions enough," I assured him.

As I pulled out rings I remarked to Vero why I did and didn't like each one. "Took thick," I complained about a ring. She quipped back, "You mean it has too much bandwidth?" Sadly, I was a bit absorbed in the sparkles and shortage of time, so she had to point out her clever pun to me. In retrospect, I'm awful proud of her for her good geek joke.

Overall? Despite their vast selection of rings and touting of over 9,000 combinations (uh-huh, I'm not impressed by your mathematic permutations) and their "walk right out with a ring" strategy. I dislike their attempt at to convey upscale by snooty. I'm really not impressed by their selection which consists of mostly uber-sparkly rings. There was one ring there that was sort of nice, but it wasn't wonderful. If you want a lot of glitz in your ring - this is your place. If you want something more subdued - don't bother.

One word of warning. Do NOT let them clean your ring! When you enter the store they offer to clean any rings you're wearing - a nice, obvious ploy to make you wait around and admire the other rings while separated from your own. The did a lovely job brightening my topaz and gold ring. Vero's wedding band even came back immensely glistening. Later inspection, however, revealed they'd ruined the surface of her ring. I don't know what process they used to clean the ring, but it was apparent they weren't using the standard chemical dip. So, whatever you do, don't let them touch your ring!

Affirming Adjectives at Gordon's Jewelers

2009-08-08T00:02:00.005-05:00

My official (and receipt-verified) alibi in visiting the mall that Saturday was to purchase a little black dress for graduation. (Sigh. The sedate life of a programmer with access to free junk food has caused my girth to exceed the waist of my flirtatious, loyal LBD of five years.) Unofficially, I was also doing a little ring gazing to verify that I knew my opinions on various rings. I've never permitted myself to gaze upon the shiny rings in stores save with a prospective bride lest I be tempted by the sparkles to run off an marry some pansy I find in a random park. Sparkles are evil, you know.

I was drawn into Gordon's because the shopkeepers were busy with other customers. I also think I'm biased towards women salespersons, and they had three. I don't know why that bias would exist. Maybe I'm just more accustomed to looking at sparklies with women rather then men-folk. I looked at the rings for awhile, and then I asked the salesperson for a set of their sizing rings so I could figure out my size. Of course, she noticed which finger I was sizing. I then asked, "My boyfriend wants to choose the ring. Do you have any tips on how to guide him towards the right style?" Her response, "Let's go shopping."

The salesperson, Renee, led me to a ring case and began having me try on rings. With each ring she dutifully prompted, "Why?" each time I selected, compared, or rejected a ring. Sometimes I couldn't quite place why. "I don't like this one because my eye is drawn to the edge of the ring rather than the center." "I like the symmetry of this one better." "This one is shiny without being too sparkly." (Its possible I have an aversion to sparkliness because I spend a minimum of ten hours a day with my hands outstretched in front of me and sparkly rings tend to draw my eye away from my computer monitors.)

We progressed through each ring case looking at the rings that suited my style and occasionally throwing in a random ring for comparison. Renee kept a running lists of adjectives for my likes and for my dislikes. At the last case she started comparing very similar rings as she determined which size of gem I liked the best. In the end, she wrote down the serial number of the ring I liked the best. (It's a sad commentary on my finickiness that I'd only really like one ring in the entire store.)

From this excursion I learned a few new things about my tastes in rings. I learned that I like V-tip prongs and prefer a half carat princess-cut on my slender finger. I also learned that I was pretty right about my ring opions, or at least I'd ingrained my opinions enough into me that I still applied them when I actually looked at rings. I also learned that I like a 1/2 carat diamonds when princess cut, but prefer 3/4 carat diamonds when round cut.

Overall, Renee was quite helpful even though she didn't make a sale that day. The cases at Gordon's Jewelers were well-lit and clean. The shop at Barton Creek Mall seemed to me to have a classic feel to its decorations, but that may just be that the store had dark wood and relied on the cases to provide much of the illumination. Interestingly, the atmosphere of Gordon's Jewelers is a contrast to the modern, slick and commercial feel of its parent-company, Zales. The selection of rings was better than a few other mall stores I popped into (i.e. Ben Bridge, Kays), but I wonder if the selection is identical to Zales itself.

Follow-up. I went by the mall again this week (8/Oct/9) and this shop looked exactly like any other ring shop in the mall. Maybe their lights were out that day. Maybe I'm remembering incorrectly. Anyway, good people, and a few nice rings.

Follow-up Part 2. Wm commented that I never told him the 3/4 for the round - only that I told him 1/2 for princess. Sure enough, I didn't. I had wondered that round looks smaller on my finger than I had recalled, but I figured that was just a faulty memory. Regardless of the karats of the diamond, I still love my ring.