Considering on a Coordinator

In LDS circles it's rare for a couple to hire a wedding coordinator. This is one part due to the sacred nature of the wedding ceremony itself, and one part due to an excess of free labor. Yet, I'm going against the trend and considering hiring a day-of coordinator.

A Mormon wedding is centered on the ceremony that takes place in the temple. This ceremony is a brief prayer offered at an alter which "seals" the bride and groom together for time and all eternity. (The biblical basis for the word "seal" or "bind" comes from Matt 16:19 "whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven," though admittedly a more in depth study of the canonized scriptures is necessary to establish the basis for this method of marriage.) There ought to be a great deal of spiritual and personal preparation before the ceremony, but it actually requires nothing in terms of finding an officiator, a decorator, a venue, etc. Essentially, a couple just needs a) approval of their church leaders b) to book an open time slot with a chosen temple and c) the proper attire and d) two witnesses. Et voila, you're now set to be married.

The temple ceremony is considered very sacred as it is performed before God in His house, and the attendees of the ceremony are limited to those LDS members in good standing. The ceremony attendees are also restricted in number to the size of the ordinance room. The San Antonio temple's "large" room has a capacity of 30 person. That sounds like a lot until you start counting up how many aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents, and parents that exist between Wm and I.

A marriage, of course, is a happy-community thing. Thus the reception becomes the many celebration of a marriage. I shall give you an example of scale. A gal in my ward asked, "How many invites are you sending out?" I responded, "300." She exclaimed, "That's it?" Uh, yeah. It's typical for all members of the bride's ward away from home, all member of the groom's ward away from home (if applicable), all members of each set of parents' wards, and even then all the extended sixth cousins a gazillion times removed. Rumor in the church hallways is that the number of reception invitees is usually double mine.

Despite the large number of invitees, the reception still tends to be fairly subdued and modest. Individuals put a lot of emphasis on "the ceremony itself is the important part," and often shy away from doing anything at the reception that may rival the union itself for attention. Wedding coordinators are often synonymous with extravagant events - and that is not the objective of the reception. The objective of the reception is to provide a means for your guests to save on postage is to provide a community celebration.

A moment for clarification. A wedding planner is an events coordinator who will plan the wedding from the ground up - from the source of your chairs all the way to the printing of your ceremony program. A day-of coordinator is an events coordinator who takes all the plans you make and makes certain they happen. You find and order the table linens, the coordinator will make certain they get put out.

Generally, the church congregation is eager to offer service in the standard offer of, "Call me if there's anything I can do for you." A coordinator will put out the linens, sure, but you'll receive an invoice for that service. Truly, why pay someone what you can do for free?

And that brings me to the topic of this post - I'm considering hiring a coordinator. (Wow, that took a lot of background information!) Time is the most valuable commodity my fiance and I posess - we are each trying to maintain a full-time job while wedding planning and still having time for each other and ourselves. (Yes, yes, this is nothing compared to finishing a masters thesis and likely nothing compared to the position of soccer Mom.) In rough numbers, Wm and I only have 36 evenings and 16 Saturdays to plan and implement a wedding. It is worthwhile considering paying someone to handle the coordinating if it means more hours for us.

Now, I do recognize that _everyone_ has a real life outside of wedding planing; be they students or full-time employees. I can't whine "but I have a real job!" when I recall quite clearly being a student often required more hours than a real job.

Often I witness students falling back on their mothers to plan their weddings. Often the mothers are thrilled to plan weddings. My Mom? She's quite content to let us do our thing - and she lives all the way up in PA. Wm's mom? She's quite content to let us do our thing - and she lives all the way over in LA. I am incredibly blessed not to have additional people trying to assert their opinion into our planning. I'm somewhat cursed in not having a local fall-back person. I could pay a coordinator to be that person.

So, yup, I'm going against the trend and looking for individuals to pay to be my fall-back person. I have had 3 nice women in Austin offer, "Call me if there's anything you need," but, honestly? I don't know them quite well enough to trust them to see things through, and I really don't want to abuse them by putting the full weight of, "Oh? Hi! You said to call? Well, I want you to take this box of stuff and make it into a reception. Don't worry, there are diagrams for exactly what I want. And no, you can't call me with questions, 'cause I'll be doing the bride thing that day." So, finding a paid professional is now a consideration. I'll let you know how it goes.