The Secret Files

In college, many of my roommates would sit around gigging and planning their hypothetical weddings. They'd explain the exact shade of purple perfect for their envisioned April wedding. They'd describe the dress in intricate detail. They'd swap opinions on pillow mints versus Jordan almonds.

Why put so much effort into an event that might not even ever occur? Doesn't that just place too much emphasis on the fluff of wedding celebrations rather than the marriage itself?

Of course, being nice girls they'd invite me to share my own dreams of the 'perfect day.' I, being the sort of girl I am, responded with my funeral plans. "Hm, if I die young, I'll take 6 handsome, young pallbearers wearing electric blue. Otherwise, just toss me in the compost heap."

Um, no, very few my roommates became my friends. Why do you ask?

During my first go-around as a bridesmaid I began to understand. Mormon engagements are often very short - usually 12 to 16 weeks, and this friend was no exception to that statistic. I watched that indecisive bride-to-be try to plan a wedding with only the basic idea that she wanted there to be lots of pink. (Bless her tolerant groom.) Within such short a time frame to plan there is no room for thinking - only for deciding and implementing immediately. The night before your wedding day is not the time to decide, "Oh! I'd like brownies at my reception!"

With that in mind, I started a folder on my C drive titled, "W." Creative code-name, eh? Just whenever I'd see a picture I liked, I tossed it into the folder. Within about a year my organization skills demanded that I subdivide "W" into "D" (dress), "F" (flowers), "BM" (bridesmaids), etc. Eventually all of the folders were moved into OneNote.

Of course, I couldn't admit to having such a file. Not only had I become one of those girls, I actually had pictorial references and branching plans. (Am I in the mood for something more feminine or shall I be kind to the groom and choose something more elegant?)

Now I find myself rather grateful to have my references. Sure, Wm and I tend to toss out more of the ideas than we keep, but it is nice to have such information on hand. It's a nice launch point for discussion. It's also nice to be able to pull up a picture and say, "Here. This is what I'm talking about."

So, yes, there is merit in keeping such a folder even if I really wish I weren't "that girl."